Overspending is a serious problem for almost all couples, and that is especially true with the economy in the state it’s in today. If you have a spouse who is constantly swiping the credit card and buying things they don’t need, it is sure to stress you out, and when it’s not handled properly it could mean the end of your relationship.
Before you can encourage your spouse to stop overspending, there are a few things that you need to understand about it, before you can deal with it successfully. First of all, for many people overspending can become an addiction. This isn’t something that you can just tell them to stop, and they’ll be able to without thinking about it. They need to use some serious willpower to stop, and it won’t help if you start yelling at them every time they pull out the credit card- they may not even realize that they’re doing it.
Next, it is important to understand why they are overspending. Many people feel like they are powerful and in control of their own lives every time they pull out that plastic card. It gives them a good feeling, and that’s why it’s a problem for so many couples. That is also why it doesn’t work if you sit there telling your spouse that they need to stop it, and if you chastise them every time they make a mistake. This will make them feel even more powerless, and stress them out far too much. Now, since a few of the worst things that you can do have been discussed, here are a few of the most successful and beneficial techniques for couples who have problems with overspending.
First, ask them to review a spending report:
Put together a report that shows everything you and your spouse have spent money on. Make sure to include a total for how much you are spending every week, or every month, and ask them to take a look at it when they have the chance. If you don’t make a big deal out of it, but show them how much they’re really spending, it will sink it into their minds that they’re spending too much money. They’ll most likely make it their own priority to stop spending as much, or not to buy things that they don’t need.
Limit the amount of money they can spend:
Tell them how frustrated you are that they’re spending money that you need for other things, and ask them if they can cut down on the amount of money that they can spend. Take some time to create a budget, and make sure there’s a category labeled especially for your spouse. Try to be generous, but not too generous, so that it won’t feel like you’re taking away their power. That will only stress them out, and they’re likely to be careful about what they spend after you talk to them about it anyway.
Let them feel powerful in other ways:
This will help to make up for the lack of spending, and make them feel better about everything. How exactly you give them power is up to you, but some suggestions are to: Let them decide what the two of you do together, ask them to pick the way you redecorate a room of the house or make any major decisions that they truly care about. You’ll have to compromise on some things, but for the sake of your relationship and the happiness of your spouse, it’s necessary and this works wonderfully.