The nonpayment of child support is just a CIVIL violation of their divorce decree. However, the parent that violates the divorce decree by not paying the court ordered support of the minor child has stepped into the world of the criminal. It is illegal to ignore your child support payments. Too many people get confused when the payments stop or are paid sporadically, they tie to many other portions of the divorce decree into the child support nonpayment. They react to the non-payment as if it were an act of manslaughter committed upon the child. For instance, if a father fails to pay one month then mom refuses to allow the children to see their father. The payment or lack thereof in relation to the child support has nothing to do with any other portion of the couple’s divorce decree. For instance, if the non-custodial father is paying his child support religiously and the custodial mother decides she needs to take a little trip to Las Vegas and it just happens to fall on the weekend immediately following the receipt of the monthly payment of her child’s support allotment. Well then, Dad has no say whatsoever as to when and on what mom spends the child support. It is the same as when the father pays the child support on time and in full he has no right to expect that the custodial mother is going to allow him the visitation rights that his divorce decree dictates. Too many divorced parents use the divorce decree as a tool to cause further pain and agony towards their ex-spouse just to help themselves feel better in some sick and perverse manner. And along those same lines it is horribly sad but true that these same battling parents will use their children and the child support as a weapon against the other parent to cause severe pain and suffering. When all the while we forget who it is that is suffering the most in all of this, the poor children!
It should also hold true then that if a father has joined the very unflattering club of “deadbeat” fathers by not paying his child support as has been ordered by the court via the divorce decree, this should in no way affect his ability to see his children as has been dictated by the divorce decree. The visitation rights of the non-custodial parent should never be linked with or to the payment or lack of payment of the monthly child support obligation. Once a parent has made the choice to become a deadbeat parent by not paying their support obligation as ordered by the divorce decree, that parent has decided to step from the world of the law abiding citizens to the world of those that break the law. Where I grew up they had a name for those kinds of people. Those that willingly choose to break the law were considered criminals where I came from. Granted this type of law breaking is not the same as robbing bank or committing a murder, however it is still willfully disregarding the order of the court to perform a specific function or action. And if a parent of a child chose not to do it then they should suffer the consequences of their actions
It is sad that in this day and age that there are people that continue to refuse to pay their child support obligation after they get divorced. The father (as is usual in most of these cases) feels that his pocket is being picked and that he is being “robbed” of the set monthly amount. I have spoken with many a divorced father and tried to explain to them that the money you send to your ex-wife is for your CHILDREN not for the ex-wife. But for some reason he cannot get it through his thick skull that his money is going to his children. He seems to think that just because the check is made out to his ex-wife that she is going to spend all of the money on some fancy dress or something of the sort. I told him that could very well be, but the only obligation he had was to pay the allotted amount each month to his ex-wife and after that it was none of his business what she did with it. Unless you can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was buying heroin or speed or something like that you just need to let it go. The majority of mothers (as is the case) out there that have the custody, will spend the money they receive on really odd things, like shelter, food, medicine, clothing and the like. The majority of custodial mothers out there use the money to do something real wild like, take care of their family. .